[Forgive or Not to Forgive?]

I had a friend who dated my guy cousin for a few years and then got pregnant to my close guy friend. lol... funny? uh kinda... NOT REALLY. but everything happens for a reason right? RIGHT. Lots of mixed feelings arose between me and this gf of mine. I really did care about her, but the fact that she hurt my cousin and then ended up with one of my good friends kinda.......irritated the heck out of me. haha 

{don't judge me, i'm human lol}

 I was so upset with her because not only did she hurt my cousin but I felt she was so fake with me, knowing the 'whole' situation between me and this close friend of mine that she got prego to. I understand it wasn't just her...because deep inside I JUST KNEW that something was going on between him and her [thru rumors] and my gut feeling of course, but I'm not one to believe 'he say/she say' stuff so I never really took cautious. but even after this was brought to my attention, still I was thinkin'

"c'mon girl, have some class"

{....what did i say... don't judge me haha}

well it's probably been about 2 years since we've actually seen each other and talked. I will admit, I did have hard feelings that really were so pointless. I wasn't getting anything out of staying upset at her, in fact it was worse on my part. Why was I mad at something that was totally out of my control?! After a lot of thought, within those 2 years I've totally gotten over it (HALLELUYER), but never thought about how I'd react if I ever saw her again, face to face. Well....today I had the chance to see her. In fact, I checked her in to return back home. haha Awkward much?? YES, at first! hahaha. But to my surprise I was actually really happy to see her. I actually think I was too excited...she probably thought I was being fake. LOL. but oh well... i really wasn't. I was glad to finally meet and see her beautiful baby girl. We didn't talk much, but it sure was good to see her with NO hard feelings of any kind inside me. It was like a huge burden lifted off of me. And whether or not she hates me, I actually found myself happy for her. Happy that she's married to a good man, honestly hoping he makes her the happiest woman on earth. She's still very beautiful and I'm seriously so happy for her. I didn't want it to be really awkward and give her a big hug or walk her to her gate 'cause that'd be cheesy and just totally over the top haha.... but it was good to see her and I'm glad I got to tell her that.

Thank God  forgiving isn't such a hard thing for me. I mean, I'm human, I do get mad and frustrated when people cross me over the wrong way. At times I do choose to get offended over something ridiculous, so quickly, and I end up feeling sorry after. But, I can admit I'm wrong when I am wrong (shawn may beg to differ though lol). When my visiting teachers came over yesterday we got to talking about how the spirit works in strengthening our families. I shared that I noticed when I do read my scriptures, I find myself more humble, forgiving, and calm when tension arises in my life. Gabby reminded that when we do have the spirit we are slow to anger, and that's so true. I think in this situation, for me I let my anger get to me much faster than stepping back and observing the whole situation. When I did, I got over it and realized that my friendship with this girl was far more important than any hard feelings I could ever have. I ended up upset with myself. haha... But i'm over that now, too..hahaha. 

"I think [forgiveness] may be the greatest virtue on earth, and certainly the most needed. There is so much of meanness and abuse, of intolerance and hatred. There is so great a need for repentance and forgiveness. It is the great principle emphasized in all of scripture, both ancient and modern. Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way."
--Gordon B. Hinckley, "Forgiveness," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 81

WHEW...i just had to get that off my chest. LOL...