[ i wonder???? ]

I've been an aunty for a few years now and I absolutely love every moment of being an aunty. I love hanging out with my nieces and nephews and just love and adore the heck out of them. I love that I don't mind spending any money or any amount of money on them.... if I had all the money in the world it'd definitely be spent on them. I love the cute little conversations I have with them, and the silly things that come out of their mouth's seriously crack me up. I love how bright they are and how sometimes they'll listen to me instead of their parents ;) hahaha I especially love that they THINK that I'm such a cool human being. I'm in love with their little innocent and forgiving spirits. The fact that they love me no matter how I discipline them (when i absolutely need to) teaches and humbles me so much, I love learning from them and their own little personalities and characteristics. Most of all though, just the fact of them being an offspring of my sister/brother does it all, sends me right over the top.... I feel like they could seriously be my  own.

Now... with me having my own child very soon... I've wondered.... and it seriously has boggled my mind as I babysit, hold, or even just watch them playing these past few months IF it's even possible to love my own child as much as I love my nieces and nephews. ;( I'm not ashamed to admit it...it kinda scares me. I've even cried to my sister and my husband about it (hopefully this is just part of the pregnancy lol). We've talked about it... I know I will love my baby girl- I mean heck, I'm already obsessed with her in my belly, but....... will I love her the same way? Will I adore her the same way I adore my sweet, cheeky, naughty, and crazy little nieces and nephews?? I know most likely I will..... lol but it's just something I've thought about a lot lately- could I seriously love another human being more or the same way I love these other little peeps of mine?? I don't like thinking about it, but it's something that always comes to mind, and really kinda bugs me at the same time. It's like I've kinda been like a second mother to them (at least that's how I feel) and so i'm just a little unsure of how it'll be post birth.

Even when I see Shawn with our nieces and nephews I wonder the same thing. He feels the same way but doesn't think about it as much as me. He's pretty sure she'll have him wrapped around her little finger- kinda like how mommy has him. ;p LOL... na j/k.

I do know though that there are a lot of things my nieces and nephews do that I hope and pray I won't tolerate or teach my own child LOL... jk Like when I see my one of my nieces or nephews do something naughty, I'm like "Oh heeeck no, my daughter is not gonna do that!" hahaha But then again I'm pretty sure i'm all talk now and it'll all be different once she makes her arrival in 7 weeks. So 'til then wish me luck w/all this. ;)